For me, the 4th of July has always had special meaning, not just because I love the minor mayhem of simple fireworks, but because the training years start on July 1st and end on June 30th. After internship, the first year out, I knew I could get a license, and therefore a job in medicine, and it was cause for big celebration. We roasted a pig for several years, the biggest party antic food-wise you can do. To go with it, I figured on potato salad.
But I’d never made it, so I thought I’d rip off my mom’s recipe, even though I wouldn’t say I ate much of it ever, but the idea of what went into it was what I was after. I left out all the questionable ingredients, and what resulted is the best this dish can be, forever know as “Big Red’s World Famous Potato Salad”.
I stole the “World Famous” from my friend Bozo a little bit. We called him that because he was pulling pranks all the time, silly ones. In high school me and one of my muscle car buddies had a “Reading for Enjoyment” class, as seniors, where it was quiet and we read for the class duration. But Bozo was at lunch during that period, and invariably he’d sneak up the back steps, and catch our eye with the door usually open. He’d juke a while, make a few faces, and then let out this huge scream and scamper down the steps and outside into the crowd. The class would erupt in laughter, and eventually the teacher would, and he referred to it as “my world famous yell”. And each morning, if I could convince him to go to school that day (usually by not writing an excuse note and signing it as his mom), then he’d ask me, “Do you want me to do my world famous?”
For the potato salad, I didn’t know mom skinned and boiled the potatoes, and I baked them, instead and then after they cooled I scooped out the baked potato stuff inside for that ingredient. It’s probably the key to the dish, and I’ve never heard of anybody ever doing it that way. And all those skins left over, hmm, what to do with them.
I do them in 10 pound batches. After the scoop out, I use a fork and mix it some, but leave it chunky. The key to the whole dish is big chunks of everything, I mean within reason. Like scooping the potatoes out after they cool, even after stirring they end up in ½ to ¾ inch chunks. Then, I salt and pepper it, and generously. It can take a lot of both ingredients, and I couldn’t say how much. Probably somewhere between 1 and 2 teaspoons, of each.
Next: white onions. Most recipes call for yellow onions, but not Big Red’s World Famous. For this batch, two large white onions, like the softball-sized ones, is the dose. Use three medium-sized ones if that’s what you have. And I don’t think a yellow onion would hurt anything, if you don’t have any white ones. Slice each one about 4 times, then cut the other way to chop them into, you guessed it, large chunks. Not Yuge chunks (feelin’ the Bern). About the size of the tip of your baby finger maybe. Mix them in.
After that, mayo. And like my mom says, there’s only one mayo, Hellmann’s. For a 10 pound batch, it’s about one of those medium sized jars, but you’ll have to add until it looks right. It can’t be soupy or wet at all really, but it needs plenty of mayo.
Like any great dish, add bacon and eggs and you’re golden, and there are lots of both in Big Red’s World Famous Potato Salad. For this batch, one and a half pounds of good bacon, and one and a half dozen hard boiled eggs. Ideally, farm eggs, which we happen to have in great abundance. Fry the bacon, cut them in half and fry them in their own grease in a pan until they’re so crispy that they will break into large bacon bits when you stir it in. Which is to say don’t burn this wonderful ingredient, but there should be no “fatty” parts left on the bacon. Fry it completely, then remove the strips onto a paper towel to cool.
How much bacon grease? Fat is where the flavor is, right? Right. I only use about 3 or 4 tablespoons in a batch, but my mom dumps all of it in. I’ve never done that, so there’s your amount, 3 or 4 tablespoons, which is a small amount of the grease left over from the frying.
Mix the bacon in next, again thinking you want big chunks as part of the recipe. Slice up the eggs with one of those wire egg slicers, and spread them out across the top of the salad, and then sprinkle it all with a little paprika, and put it in the fridge to chill. You can serve it hot, and I usually have to because I’ve put it off until the last minute, with, you know, other things to do. It’s usually ready right at dinner time.
Then I sit back and catch people as they faint, or manage the stampede once the word gets out that it’s done, or counsel people who are shook up by the whole thing. Then I hide what is usually a second batch in a fridge. Generally the batch gets depleted gradually as people hit it all night, and I get out the second batch if needed. If not, any amount of leftover is a treasure. I don’t eat leftovers, but it’s somehow true that Big Red’s World Famous gets better for several days in the refrigerator. A gift that keeps giving.
So there you go. Don’t skimp on the ingredients, all of which somewhere they have told you are bad for you, but hopefully you’re not believing any of that stuff. Forego your urban myths for an afternoon, whadayasay? And under no circumstances shall you add the toxic ingredients people have experimented with, like vinegar or celery or pickle relish or mustard, or a weird anything. Don’t do it!